Sunday, July 10, 2005

I like Aeroplane Jelly

Soundtrack: Black Rebel Motorcycle Club / Whatever Happened To My Rock n' Roll

I think I may be getting old.

Which is a damn shame for those of you who have come here over the months in breathless anticipation of more Fuck stories and Hooker stories and Gangbang tales...Not, of course, that I'm quite done with any of that just yet.

My cock is as rampant and angry as ever. Perhaps more so.

In a nice way though.

Wave hello, Vanilla Thriller.

*impersonates own cock waving*

Can you tell that I have a fever? Surely impersonating my own cock is a sign.


Nein. Enough of that.

Surely I must be getting old because I am finding the thoughts of slippers and a heater more attractive by the day. Slippers and a heater and...


Surely I must be getting sick because I'm now avoiding work by writing the stupidest fucking post I have ever written about getting old and being sick. Buggugger.

*drags it back to Old School Sherriff, except this time with extra tissues*

Have you ever had sex on an aeroplane? I have. It began when my travelling partner rested her head on my lap with a blanket over us, everyone else in the plane was asleep. Not even a mouse, sort o' thing. Dig? Dug.

Not long after that, I was surprised to find my cock in her mouth. Well, not surprised, just...hehehe...


Normally, this is quite exciting for me, and it was then too except for some reason I couldn't stop laughing. I have it from reliable sources nowadays that laughing is not the sort of reaction a girl wants when she's sucking your cock but for some reason I just couldn't help, stifling my laughter I ventured the invite all us young libidinous creatures dream of during long boring flights and motioned toward the back of the plane.

It was dark, the lights were out and hot and heavy and breathing fast we stumbled into the toilet and latched the door behind us.

Hands fumbling, skirt up, pants down, one of us bent forward as we both looked in the mirror and smiled and we had THAT look in our eyes until...


What was I saying?

Sorry guys, I'm sick...


  1. "...the invite all us young libidinous creatures dream of during long boring flights".

    you got to sit in first class and eat lobster with yuppies?!?

    oh, maybe that's just me.

    plane sex is probably good too.

  2. Hmmm...I'm actually coming around to your idea...Although perhaps plane sex with yabbies while eating Lobsters off yuppies...

    You give me fever.

  3. or fever all through the night?

  4. When you kiss me Nads, when you hold me tight...

    This is for real...FEVER! BABY!

  5. Would you like a bowl of my home made hearty vegetable soup? I made to much.. It's good for sick people like you Matty B... Then maybey you when your feeling a bit better you could teach me how to drive?? I know it's not as kinky as a plane... 10 years... Hmmm...

  6. I just wanted to say that I love you. Oh and can relate to you being sick. Just this weekend I went to a sick party and got kissed by a militant lipstick lesbian. Oh, that's not quite the same. I look forward to breast feeding with you when we are both to old and toothless for solid food.

  7. Aren't my typos just charming?

  8. Yes, at times you appear to be sick...when are they coming to take you away?
    Splendour in the Grass?

  9. still feeling gunky? i have this magnificent ginger tonic recipe that i can send you. just ponder upon it. the sucka works magic on hangovers and hangers-on as well. no joke.