Thursday, August 11, 2005

Acid House

Soundtrack: Spiritualised / Won't get to heaven (the state I'm in)

LSD is a strange drug. A tiny, tiny scrap of paper no larger than your fingernail doused in enough chemicals that one tiny tab would hold enough KICKASS power to clean your oven for a good ten years. If you eat it, or of course suck on it first for a while, you either:

a) Have an incredible journey through your psyche, confronting both your emotions and your ego as your Spirit Id Guide meanders through time and space analysing your entire life as well as your relationships with the other people in the room. If you are mentally fit, you will find this quite exciting and often reach many, many life altering conclusions about the nature of the universe and your place within it.

or


















You will dress up as a widdle baby in front of strangers at a party and doing poopy out your botbot in your pants, giggling hysterically and screaming, "YOU DON'T KNOW MAN. I AM THE BABY! I AM THE BAAAAAAAABYYYYYYY!!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAA"

Either way, you are in for a good 16 hours once you've ingested. Unlike cocaine, which is a good fifteen fucking minutes of fun, and ecstasy which is one ride up then one ride down, acid is a long drawn out journey of peaks and troughs. Just when you...


WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT MAN?

It's ok. I'm not actually on acid.

Just when you think you've made it through and you've hit a nice quiet patch and everything seems normal again, you have a cigarette and BANG, off you go again staring at the other person in the room thinking he/she is either your soulmate or What The Hell Do I Even KNOW ABOUT THIS PERSON...

Once a group of friends and I decided in some stupid fancy that even though we had been in the mad grips of a psychotic acid trip for about three hours, we would cook a roast lamb. Now, the fact that we even managed to walk around the supermarket and buy the correct ingredients is one of the Eight Wonders Of My World, however through the grace of God (or Timothy Leary) we made it out alive and were still able to correctly prepare and perfectly cook the juicy, juicy BLEEDING juicy Leg of Lamb.

Yes, I do make the best Roast Lamb in the world. Truly.

That was all good, until it came time to carve, slice, chop the bloody flesh off a bone of a baby sheep and I swear I just heard it bleat and DUDE THIS IS A MOTHERFUCKING LEG MAN IT'S A LEG, WE'RE GOING TO EAT A LEG AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAh.

Waste of a good roast.

Why the hell am I talking about LSD?

Wouldn't you like to know AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


*waves*

*at hallucinations*

5 comments:

  1. But would you still take it?

    What the fuck am I talking about? Of course you would. Just thinking of it gives me the jibbers. A trip is a giant scary poison ordeal.

    Get back to me during mushroom season.

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  2. One minute I'm anonymous, the next I'm not. It's been a confusing morning x

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  3. "DUDE THIS IS A MOTHERFUCKING LEG MAN IT'S A LEG, WE'RE GOING TO EAT A LEG AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAh."

    Hahaha! Sadly, I feel this way at times even without LSD.

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  4. "DUDE THIS IS A MOTHERFUCKING LEG MAN IT'S A LEG, WE'RE GOING TO EAT A LEG AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAh."

    Hahaha! Sadly, I feel this way at times even without LSD.

    ReplyDelete