Monday, August 22, 2005

Lay some skin on me Holmes.

Soundtrack: Pixies / Vamos

It must be in the stars. A week ago I ran naked across Sydney Road to the cheers and jeers of the night time shopper throng. (Sounds so fucking dirty doesn't it...THRONG. I like.)

On Friday Night I found myself drinking Jagermeister shots at The Retreat when I was approached by one of the Bartenders there, Sean. He suggested we break into the Brunswick Baths and go for a secretive late night swim.

The two of us? I asked.

Yeah! He replied. He has a moustache. I think he may have twirled the ends of it at this point.

(It's like a young man moustache, and kind of ginger / blonde. I like it)

Hmmm, I replied, a little...worked up...How about...you organise two girls to come with us, and I'll organise some drugs, and them I'm in.

Okey, he replied. He's quite a happy fellow, and oft says things like okey.

So I found my man, twenty two dollars in my hand or however it went...

And meeting back up with Sean discovered that he had been unable to coerce any of the fairer species to join us as we illegally jumped a barb wire fence on drugs and swam naked at 1am.

I mean C'MON GIRLS! LIVE A LITTLE!

So we went anyway.

And the fence was a lot higher than what we had imagined but we made it over and LO! Before us in all its perfect temperature 27 degree glory was the vast expanse of the Brunswick Pool. And even better? It was cloaked in in it's baby blue pool cover...

So. Of course. I got naked. And Sean said:

Oh, we're gonna go naked?

If a look can say, watchootalkinboutwillis, mine would have.

And ran, ran, ran, ran straight onto the pool, onto the pool cover, to see how far we could make it, how close to the El Dorado of the middle of the pool as the quicksand cover tugged at our legs and about 10 metres in began to wrap around me and swallow me whole...(hmmm...quite a homo-erotic story this one isn't it?) and under I went and bobbing (see! it really is!), rushing, blood drunk and screaming banshee laughter I choked (gross...let's drop it now...) and drowned and fought under the surface to find a way out and did, crashing back through the surface and seeing...

The camera.

*waves*

*pun intended*

And climbing back over the fence all soggy and drugged was fun.

And things get a bit blurry after that, but I think I had a party at my house.

Nude, dude.

Word.

BB

x

4 comments:

  1. Next time please you do something like this would you please take the time to call me, in my capacity as your official photobiographer.

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  2. It may be possible to just ring up the Baths and ask nicely for a copy of the security tape...not that you know who those crazy nude boys are or anything...

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  3. THIS JUST IN!

    International News agencies report that the same Late Night Shopper Throng that witnessed nude cantering last week, now has hidden video footage of pool side antics to show at this year's Nude Sporting Events Competition and Brunch being held at London, Oregon's beautiful new Double Tree Convention Center/ Trip-Hop Club. Says Brunswick native Marty Feebler, the editor/diector of the piece, "I just knew if I waited long enough he'd show up naked somewhere. Holding steady for a week was tough but I stayed the course. I think I'm in for top prizes this year. London has wicked hazelnut waffles, yo." Much like Godzilla before him, no one knows who this athlete is nor where he has come from. In a world that whores itself to Celebrity, it's refreshing to have an anonymous face with the cheek to face life's ups and downs, soul bared, and visibly on drugs. Ah Bless.

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  4. Wait, I forgot the multiple "WOOO HOO" sounds that were reported. hehe.

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