Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Touch me I'm sick

Soundtrack: Galaxie 500 / Ceremony

This is why events unnerve me,
They find it all, a different story,
Notice whom for wheels are turning,
Turn again and turn towards this time,
All she ask’s the strength to hold me,
Then again the same old story,
Word will travel, oh so quickly,
Travel first and lean towards this time.

Oh, I’ll break them down, no mercy shown,
Heaven knows, it’s got to be this time,
Watching her, these things she said,
The times she cried,
Too frail to wake this time.

Oh, I’ll break them down, no mercy shown,
Heaven knows, it’s got to be this time,
Avenues all lined with trees,
Picture me and then you start watching,
Watching forever, forever,
Watching love grow, forever,
Letting me know, forever.

When it rains it pours. Apparently. But when it's dry, it's a motherfucking drought.

I have a sickness. It's impeding my plans for world domination. It's fucking with my sleep. It's messing with my work and making me walk everyday for miles in a daze. It's stopping me from eating and forcing cigarette after cigarette into my lungs. It's poisoning my favourite music. Its tentacles are reaching into every facet of my life and choking the breath from me.

I voluntarily took this sickness upon myself.

I am addicted to it.

I fear living without it, for I am accustomed to its pleasure-pain.

What lies beyond this?

I never want to find out.

I want this sickness. Forever.



Fuck writing can be cathartic sometimes you know? Cryptic fucking posts meant purely as a public release valve to my internal pressure cooker.

Last weekend, I undertook to keep myself nice. To not start drinking on Friday afternoon and throw myself into the world, a repeat of myself this time last year, broken and wild.

Broken and wild.

And I succeeded. I watched movies and I ate well.

And come Monday morning, I felt...sad.

Same time last year I was broken and wild, a drunkard and a drug taker, nihilism my escape from the reality of what I had done.

Funnily enough, at my worst, I found what I had always been looking for.

Or it found me.


But twelve months is either a blink of an eye or forever.

Either way, look out, because if you think you've read some fucked up shit on here in the past...

I can feel it bubbling inside, I can feel it whispering to me, I can sense it offering its sweet fucking debaucherous NOTHING. Numb. Blind. Mute. Gone gone gone...

I've been fighting it.

I've been fighting it.

Y'all might get a bit scared...

But its offering me something that I need right now.

Well...that's not quite true.

It's offering me something I DESIRE right now.

Fun. (not numb)

Peace. Go easy on me if you see me.

Oh, and there's a soundtrack to it.

Setting sun deals hands of gold
There's velvet eyes in Mexico
Just a fall away
And all she said was true
Speak in tongues, speak in lies
Drooling livers, born to die
It's a wonder that those guns don't point at you

Keep sayin, go on, keep sayin, go on, keep sayin, you will live forever

Point and shoot, I know just what you mean
In a world that's full of shit and gasoline, baby
One dog's dead one's on the phone
Just leave a lung or leave it alone
It's that same old song again
I hate it cause it's true




They're jigglin' baby....They're jigglin' baby....

Oh yeeeeeah...


  1. Hi Herriff,

    Please reserve some time for some hugs and knee sitting tomorrow night.

    With love,

    Lee Lee

  2. Nothing says Sex Party like a Rude Food Dinner baby...

    My knobbly knees are all yours...