Tuesday, August 9, 2005

Words of the Stone Age

Soundtrack: Iggy Pop / Search and Destroy

WHATTHEFUCKAMITHINKING?

I been down. I been dirt. I been high and I been hurt. I been messy and I been straight, and I there's too much fucking love to be all gut twisted n' hate.

And other stuff y'all.

Hi.

HI.

I've been forgetting how to write. Slowly. Each day that I let it slide, becomes more of a stilted constipated sentence. Paragraphs as yawn yawn as Patha Panchali that old goddamn ten hour long Indian Cinematic Masterpiece we had to watch in Year 12.

Yawn yawn.

So. Best way to get on with it and get it back is to get on with it. Get it out, let it out, burn baby burn.

I was rock, now I am a shell on the seaside, shaped by the waves that crash over me.

I forget where the rock went.

Lamar! Lamar! Long forgotten world where the rocks roamed and sang and formed this fucking earth. Before us, before them before you, was the Rock. And yea, the stoner's rejoiced.

It's freeform baby. Dig it and deal.

So specifics are out, but I can open that valve just a little, just a lot to let y'all in on SOME of it.

Things which cause the most pleasure cause the most pain.

Newton said something along those lines, every action has an equal reaction.

Being a rock, being a rock with the potential to grow into a mountain means not moving. Being still. Forevs. Which means...sometimes it seems like things pass you by. Sometimes it feels like people climb over you, the mountain, and then climb off. Or sometimes it seems like people clamber to the top of you, just so they can see the horizon. What's to come. You make a good vantage point, being a mountain.

But mountains, inside, are volcanic and alive. So these things don't go un-noticed. Inside you, as the mountain, boil and bubble and rage and bleed lava but as a mountain...that is all you can do. You can't uproot and follow. You can just stay.

And grow.

And wait.

And watch the world change around you.

And as winter comes and the snow forms on your crown you look inward and back as that's all you're allowed to do, and you look at all you've seen and all that has grown and died around you...and the payoff comes.

You have the fucking wisdom of a mountain.

It ain't sexy if you wanna fly or burn.

But it lasts and lasts and lasts and lasts.

I'm not a shell, though sometimes I feel I am.

I'm not a fucking grain of sand, though we all are.

I was a rock. For a while.

Now, I'm just a shape. Wanting to be a mountain.

Rock on.

4 comments:

  1. Mountains have crevases and caves where bears and leprachans hide.

    You're a gold mine.

    ReplyDelete
  2. bonnie prince billy would like to fuck a mountain, i'm guessing he ain't alone.

    ReplyDelete