Thursday, September 1, 2005

Ladies and Gentlemen

Soundtrack: John Lennon & Plastic Ono Band / Whatever gets you through the night

To be honest, it amazes me how shallow seduction has become with the invention of the internet. Like text messages sending your heart leaping and quickening your pulse. I am a fan of words and have had a number of cyber affairs, some consumated, others not.

Some consumated in very bizarre circumstances, but I won't go into that now.

Sometimes, I try and give the impression that I am a modern man, but this is false, and false does naught but set you back. So if I admit to my myself that I am in fact old fashioned I feel a Hell of a lot better about myself.

I am no swinger, though I have swung.

It's okay to believe in old fashioned romance. Candlelight dinners. Flowers. Love letters.

Fuck it! I really dig those things. And I think they are so much more real than a hot, breathless email, or a flirtatious text relationship. Though those things carry such power.

But, I'd like to sit in a park today, eating cheese and drinking champagne and staring and laughing and rolling in the grass down a hill, toasting one another and wrapping myself in romance and warmth. And love.

Yes. That would be nice.

I believe in forever. Though forever does not believe in me.

Though I am not yet one of them, I believe it is time for the return of the old fashioned Gent.

*starts growing moustache*

*twirls it*

I think it would be nice if once courtship begun, emails and texts were banned. Bringing romance and reality to the fore, reminding people of the here and now. Her, breathless and waiting. Him, arriving with flowers and opening doors.

Did I turn Ghey today?

Maybe baby. But I'm in a good mood, and I look forward to when opportunity next affords me the chance to get my Gent on.

I really forget these things sometimes. But they're nice to remember. Being nice to people is so fucking easy and so fucking beautiful. But we should do it in person more.

In person RULES.

*drapes jacket over her shoulder*

Let's get out into the sunshine.




  1. *books one way ticket to Melbourne to be nice to The Sherriff in person*

    *cancels ticket*

    *because a ticket was already purchased yesterday*

  2. *un-cancels ticket*

    *gives to Nads*


  3. WELL! I certainly feel like chopped liver!

    Oh, who am I kidding, of course I don't. I'll smuggle her in my suitcase, worst case scenario.

  4. Oh good god, I AM chopped liver! Or at least holding a plate of it!

    If you will excuse me, I must go and weep whilst gorging on aforementioned chopped liver...

  5. *sulks because i had the opportunity to be nice to sherriff in person last week but no one emailed me back so now im all lonely in adelaide again*