Sunday, October 9, 2005

Eating Nuts: A timeline

4:00 pm: HEY EVERYONE! WOOHOO! It's a wedding party, let us imbibe tasty lagers and catch up with friends and...hold on...oooooh yum!.....I'll have one of those rice balls fo' shizzle...

4:15pm: Excuse me young sexy waitress, were there any nuts in those rice balls? You'll check with the chef? GREAT! Thankyou...There wasn't? Okay great, I must just be imagining things...

4:20pm: I think I'll go and ask the chef myself...What's that you say chef? There were DEFINETLY NO NUTS in those rice balls? 100% positive you say? Great! I must just be imagining things...

4:45pm: Ummm....miss....would you mind driving me to the...ho...s...p.....iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.........


*thud*


5:00pm: ....................................


6:00pm: ......................woah.....


6:15pm: ....argh...these steroids mixed with adrenalin are starting TO REALLY KICK IN...

6:20pm: I SAID MOTHERFUCKER, THAT THESE STEROIDS ARE REALLY STARTING TO KICK THE FUCK IN.

6:30: FUCKING YEEAH! AAAAAAAAAAARGH! I CAN CRUSH PEOPLE WITH MY BARE HANDS! KILL! KILL! GET ME OUT OF HERE! GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! WHY ARE YOU STRAPPING ME DOWN? I HAVE SUPER ABS BABY! KISS MY CUNTING SUPERABS YOU FUCKING AAAAAAAAAAAARGH! YOU THINK THESE BONDS CAN HOLD ME????? I AM...zzzzzzzzzzz..............

7:00: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz............

7:30: zzzz.....sob.....miss...can you take me home now please?




*prepares affidavit*

11 comments:

  1. whose nuts do i have to crack to avenge your pain, mister?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Umm...mine please. But you might have to stand back a little...they have been puffed up on steroids...AARGH.

    ReplyDelete
  3. he he.

    puffed nuts.

    with milk.

    for breakfast.

    oh no.

    ReplyDelete
  4. You need a good coconuting. It cures all ills.

    ReplyDelete
  5. would coconutting have two "T"s or one?

    Hmm. Making up words is hard.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I think it must be two t's, one t sounds too much like coco-newt-ing and that would seem to defeat the purpose of having a good coconutting in the first place no?

    And yes. I do please.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I see your point. Coconutting it is then. Coco-newt-ing doesn't sound terribly appealing, does it?

    Besides, how do you know when a coconut is ripe anyway?

    *blink*blink*

    ReplyDelete
  8. id like to kiss your cunting super abs

    right after i kick someones nalls with nads

    nobody nuts my sherriff

    ReplyDelete
  9. Awwwwwwwwwwwww nuts.

    I definitely thought your lip looked a little puffy. I am going to go back an gently explain to that chef PEANUT OIL IS MADE FROM PEANUTS YOU FUCKING HACK!

    ReplyDelete
  10. A puffy-lipped swolly-nuts with roid rage. LOCK UP YOUR DAUGHTERS.

    ReplyDelete