Tuesday, November 8, 2005

Tag THIS Honkus

The first time I got tagged I thought, fuck me what the fuck canI tell you that I haven't already splurted all over this page like so much literary jiz? But you know WHAT KRANKI SAYS GOES Y'ALL because he wants to pash me and I want to balance a tray of cocaine on his head at our combined birthday party and walk him around on a lead calling him My Little Seppo (kind of like My Little Pony...but betterer)

1/ Sometimes I get writer's block and just stare at the number 1 for ages.

2/ I once fucked a girl in broad daylight on the roof of a shop above a busy street just because she asked me to prove I was "a bad boy"...I think I've written about that before...so...

3/ I hate having to repeat myself.

4/ I have all sorts of fucked up sexual fantasies, including two guys and a girl, but the one time I was actually in that situation, I found it really strange and difficult to "have a hard attack" still, I'm not the sort to give up. Back on the horse...ewwww, I'm not THAT kinky.

5/ I think I may be going to an honest to god Eyes Wide Shut Swingers Party soon. Ok, maybe I am THAT kinky.

6/ In real life there are probably only two people who truly know me inside and out. One of them is my sister. But then, I tell all sorts of truths on the internet for people who don't know me to read. I'm complex.

7/ I want to marry someone who is already married. But don't tell anyone.

8/ I am currently seeking help for a drug addiction. I'm a bit scared about it. Is that too serious? Ok...

9/ Once I had two full time girlfriends for a year and a half. I've probably written about that too, but while I was going out with them both I probably slept with about 8 other people because for some reason girls found me attractive at that time in my life. It has never happened since.

10/ I truly believe that a monogamous relationship is possible. Hahahahahaha.

11/ Because I have no parents, I rely on my own sense of self esteem to keep me going through life. Sometimes this makes it hard for me to concede defeat or admit when I am wrong.

12/ My last name means IDIOT in Japanese. When I first arrived in Japan I had to make a speech in front of 3000 Japanese students. I stood up and said, Hello, My name is Mathew Idiot. Then I bowed and hit my head on the microphone, knocking it off the stage. Best. Opener. Ever.

13/ I hardly read any other blogs. I just come here to write and smoke a ciggie and then go home.

14/ Sometimes I get jealous. I hate it. I try and control it, but it's like a knot in my stomach, a parasite that takes hold of me and spreads its tentacles throughout my body until I'm a quivering mess. In the broad light of day I can look at it objectively and think what an idiot I am, but when it's happening it's REALLY hard to control. I'm currently doing my best to rectify this problem. I think it has a lot to do with being on drugs or drunk.

15/ I like being open. I like the Truth. Though it scares me sometimes having MY truth out there.

16/ Once I met a girl on MSN Messenger. We had a cyber sex affair for a year or so. Then one day she invited me over to her house and we fucked in her lounge room in front of a web cam while another girl watched from a remote location. As soon as it was over, I left and felt really, really strange. But it's a nice story to tell the grand kids.

17/ When I lost my virginity, it was to a girl who had slept with most of my friends. I didn't know diddly. She stripped me bare, laid me back on the bed, took my cock in her hand and asked me, "What do you like?" I didn't know how to reply, so I told her, "lots of tongue" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

18/ I am seriously considering putting the picture of my erect cock back up, just to get more traffic.

19/ I think I may be an exhibitionist, a voyeur, an nymphomaniac and really, really shy all at the same time.

20/ Every single fucking day, I wish my mum was alive, though I'm really, really glad she's not reading my blog.

How's that? I tag The Pony, who I cannot wait to meet.


  1. jealousy, it's an age thing. things'll get into perspective.

  2. "My Little Seppo (kind of like My Little Pony...but betterer)"...

    Kranki balances quite well, or so the Wizard tells me. But I'll wait for the photo collage of your joint birthday fiesta until I conceed the betterer part. Which I consider quite fair under the circumstances.

    So, I've been bapped. I'll have to dig up some interesting dirt on myself. Might I add that your dirt puts mine to shame. You and your luminous smut, matty.

    Here's my vote: Pictures make a house a home, and a home a castle.

    hint. hint.

  3. the male version of a nymphomaniac is satyrisias, matty.
    deputy dave

  4. anato namae wa bakka?