Wednesday, May 3, 2006

I want you to show me

If resignation is a colour then it's grey, and I hate wearing grey. Too schooley. So I hang the cloak by the door for now, in fact, I take EVERYTHING off and just fucking RUN. Run through the streets, run through my memories, run deep inside the cave until gasping for breath I fall, collapse, laugh. Cry.

Is it Kurt Cobain's fault? Grunge's fault? That I find myself still a little angsty from time to time at the age of 33? Did I spend too much time in the early 90s FEELING MAN. And questioning the world and turning to music and turning to matters of the heart as though they were the most important things in life. And I know what we're both thinking, they ARE the most important. Except, maybe they're not. Maybe if I didn't spend so much time in that loco world, I would be taller, more handsome, smarter, fitter, happier, more productive...

********

There is a light, coming through the trees above me. Bathing my face in warmth. I squint my eyes and try to find the source but I can't. Things are grey, not black, around me, but it's dark enough to contrast with the blinding light. To hide its intentions. So I freeze, right here at this spot, surrounded by grey with a beam of light on my face. I freeze, too wary to move in case the light disappears. I become a statue of myself. Stuck here for all time.

********

ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?

This is the other voice. The living voice, and I am ALIVE. Forgive the bad rock concert anology, it's my heritage, my blood. In the face of anything, it is what I use to replenish the dried up river beds that are my veins, to snd blood coursing through myself, to awaken my heart, and to put a smile on my soul.

It's a little bit of fancy, but it's sure better than drinking a gourd of malaise. Trust me.

********

I'm a statue of myself, stuck in a wood, far from home. Ghey ghey ghey.

x

4 comments:

  1. I want to feeeeeel what love iiiiisssssss

    ReplyDelete
  2. Delete that last comment, this is what i really wanted to say.

    I’ve got nowhere left to hide
    It looks like love has finally found me

    In my life there’s been heartache and pain
    I don’t know if I can face it again
    I can’t stop now, I’ve traveled so far
    To change this lonely life

    I wanna know what love is
    I want you to show me
    I wanna feel what love is
    I know you can show me

    I wanna know what love is
    I want you to show me
    And I wanna feel, I want to feel what love is
    And I know, I know you can show me

    ReplyDelete
  3. you know you'll never stop feeling it all. 33. 66. 99.

    cause that's the type of person you are. and anything less would be a fucking life rip off.

    you are doing good cause you are using your brain.

    jam

    ReplyDelete