Sunday, July 9, 2006

Hell and Back: A comedy of errors.

All I can see, smell and touch. The height it gives me. The depth. The moments, the now. I miss the country, and can feel myself slowly dying without it.

What is it, that I feel I will lose if I follow the tracks and rejoin my Soul where it waits, out there, behind the rocks, over the hills, between the trees?

Friends. Companions. My lust for anything else has faded with time. For creativity, my one true love, will follow me to the ends of my days, and care not one whit if I am smuggled in a cargo hold room cast adrift in the big smoke, or dancing naked in a paddock, under the rain, beside a shed, beneath the moon.

What dreams do you aim for, day to day, here in the city?

Bored, I would be bored in a house by a river by some trees, someone told me in a pub the other day.

BORED? I'm bored, bored of sycophants and fast cars. Bored of choking every morning, bored of egos and cocks and make up and door lists. Bored of false fucking idols. Bored of chasing a dragon with golden scales and wings which push it ever further away. Bored of believing that the peace that is out there, is worth less than the chaos down here. Bored. All are bored. Choo fucking choo.

I dreamt of children and sacrifice. Mine not theirs. I dreamt of shedding ambition but looking back over 33 years, realised I didn't fucking care. I dreamt of stomachs stretched, and hands gripping and tears and laughter and tiny, tiny, shoes. And tiny, tiny, fingers.

I woke up and thought, fucking. Just, fucking.

All that fucking. From Hell and back. And how much it meant.

Zero. It all means Zero. That demon mist lust, three mouths, four, two cocks, or one.

It all means zero when you come back to Hell, and dream like forever, of a place by a river.

2 comments:

  1. Hi, 's been a while since I've sauntered over here- hope you keeping...well the way you'ld like to be keeping.

    What dreams do you aim for, day to day, here in the city?

    I just want to avoid getting jaded -loosing the desire to have dreams. Its not a problem yet but you have to watch your back sometimes...city living can sneak up on you & suck it outa you if your not careful
    xd

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  2. Wise Blim, jaded is indeed a sickness I suffer from a lot. Say hi to kinko and Tishi for me, I miss 'dem. AND YOU.

    x

    ReplyDelete