Tuesday, December 5, 2006

A Time to Dye.

When I was young I grew up in a dodgy Hotel on Fitzroy St, St Kilda called the Majestic Hotel. My mum was the Manager, because she was rooting the guy who owned the building. I guess a lot of dodgy shit went on, though I was too young to have a proper understanding of everything. All I remember was meeting American Oil Rig divers, peeling potatoes, and watching my mum fight with gigantic Samoans on Heroin. St Kilda was a very different place back then.

Look here's a picture of the Hotel. In sexy Black and White.

The reason I bring it up, and it's kind of long winded so suck it, I mean sorry, is that painted all around St Kilda back then, was this:

The ANARCHY symbol. Friend of fifteen year old, middle class rebels everywhere. Except I was only eleven, and had no fucking idea what the Hell it meant. I used to see it everywhere.

One day my friend Wolfgang, who you can read about here, put his arm around my shoulder and proceeded to give me the lowdown on "Anarchy".

"Anarchy are the biggest gang in Australia, they're the scariest, toughest mish mash of bikies, prostitutes and ex football playes, and they'll kill you if you even so much as look at that sign without preying to the God of Anarchy"

Okaaaaay. I'm not sure. I think I probably KNEW that it was bullshit, but I liked it. Anarchy was a pretty fucking tough name for a gang, and although I was 17 years away from a career in Graphic Design, I still dug on the logo man. Simple, effective, tough. Killer.

We even found the oldest building we could find, a run down factory on Dalgety St, back before the developments fucked St Kilda a new townhouse sized arsehole, and used to run past it as fast as we could, knowing that it was the secret Headquarters of Anarchy.

(You know what? Writing this, I like 11 year old Wolfgang and me...)

ANYWAY. The reason I'm talking about all this nostalgic bullshit is because of these guys:

Our government, and their government. Actual cocksucking results may vary.

Ya see, like Socialism, which is a beautiful CONCEPT, but completely fucked in a practical sense, Anarchy has a certain attractiveness. Especially when the option is to be completely fucked over by a pack of Butt Fuck Wolves masquerading as our Leaders, our Friends. Unfortunately however, we're all too intelligent to ever think anarchy is actually a concept that would be beneficial to mankind. Imean, I can't speak for you, but I believe we need to join together and explore the universe, expanding our horizons, working as one race to further discover greater mysteries than ourselves within an infintismal canvas, our cosmos, and unfortunately I believe we need some sort of centralised government to achieve this goal. Although fuck nose where the Hell we're ever going to find the sort of benevolent visionaries necessary to get anywhere near THAT sort of future...

Which brings me to why I'm starting to believe that we need some sort of Anarchic Revolution which will help topple every government on the planet and start from Scratch.

I mean, y'all think that swapping one Right Wing Government for another, LESS Right Wing Government is a step in the right direction. Yeah. Wow.

And I guess you're right. But to be honest, I think we're well beyond that now.

We're fucked either way. So I'm officially abondoning the "LEFT" (hahaha, you've got to be kidding me right? LEFT? YOU HONESTLY BELIEVE THAT?) and continuing to spit on the "RIGHT" (they ACTUALLY HAVE NO PENISIS, THIS IS A MEDICAL FACT) and instead I will begin to work towards creating a seperate State within a State. Somewhere where they can't bomb, somewhere they can't tax, or control, or spy, or regulate.

You want to know where this Mythical Land is?

It's in my head. And that's where I'm staying. I'm tired of two party system. I'm tired of Faux Socialists thinking that the Labour Party has any sort of Social Agenda other than the self advancement of their own petty Party squabbles. I'm certainly tired of the Liberal Party and it's blind pursuit of THE ECONOMY at the cost of creativity, individuality and any sort of Social Conscience. The whole thing stinks. And anyone who buys into it is a fool.

Fuck off. I'm moving to the country.

What brought this on, you say?

I guess it was learning about this.

Our present Liberal Government last year signed a pact with the Americans, so that the Yanks could bring these:

So that they could practice war shit by bombing this:

and these little guys:

and meanwhile, the Great White Fucking DREAM TEAM of our supposed saviour Left Wing Party these two fuckwits:

Have a guess what they're talking about on the radio...

Go on, guess.

Yep. How many times she's dyed her hair.

Good for you Australia.


  1. Was it wash out or stay-in?

    I personally think they had us from the off. Which is what getting very, very high was invented for, I guess. I take the escape pod option every time.

    It's all a bunch of cock, aint it.

    And that kind of applies to the Wolfgang diary too, which was interesting. hehe.
    You could earn 50p for bobbing at my first school.
    And that was just off a couple of the teachers, but that's private education for ya.

    yea Anarchy baby!

    I dedicate this to you Mr Sheriff -



  2. oh matti, where do i begin?

    or maybe should i do it when OUR troops are back from iraq?

    i hate being the pragmatist, but at least i'm someone that's putting in some effort for change.

    And I do believe in a better world, just like you.


  3. Your new HEAD Government will need lobbyists.
    [Sorry. It was a compulsion.]

    Perhaps we should go back to Divine Right of Rule. If we're going to have Queens in power they might as well be able to throw some good Balls.

    [Punny's still funny for three more weeks I've been told.]

    Collaborative Arms testing in the Reefs? The weapons industry is the number one reason for the shit mess our world is in. Please Greenpeace-ers, get those bomb junkies, because our governements shame us yet again.

    What sadness.

  4. nice one sherriff. liked everything you said.

    even though i've considered moving to new zealand for these sorts of reasons, i'm thinking your brain might be more fun. less boring.

    can you squeeze me in?

  5. way to hit the nail on the fucking head sir, i have been thinking these same thoughts for quite a while. The labor party in australia is really a toothless fucking tiger, and rudd aint going to change that.

    Trip to the country you say, room for a little un.

  6. Thanks for your comments y'all. In the end, I saved the world with sushi and gin.

    It's nice to be pro-active* after all.

    *Hair product pun not intentional.

  7. I've always been an Ontological Anarchist myself.
    this is an easier summary.
    Your description of St Kilda is apt.

  8. Oh bugger bugger bugger.

    Humans are complete fucktards. All the lovely gripping beauties and mysteries of our little planet and we want to fuck it all up.

    I hate us!