Tuesday, January 15, 2008

The Jealousy in Me

[it was so obvious,
but I didn't think,
FUCK,
I am so stupid,
I am so stupid]

Through the trees I can see them.

Through the trees,

I watch them.

Through

the

trees,

I

can

see

them.

I can watch them.

I want to vomit
and masturbate
and cry and scream.

I want to vomit
and masturbate
and cry and scream.

I WANT TO VOMIT
AND MASTURBATE
AND CRY AND SCREAM
DREAM AND CREAM
I NEED TO SEE
IT FUCKING HURTS
IT MAKES ME HARD
OH FUCK YOU FUCKERS
MAKE HIM CUM
MAKE HIM CUM
MAKE HER CUM
MAKE me RUN
MAKE me CUM

Instead,
I walk back to the fire,
light a cigarette
and simply

stare.

Hoping that
they will walk up to me,
and ask,
what's wrong?

So I can say,

nothing,
it's nothing.

In this situation,

I find flirting
with Death
a dangerously
attractive
distraction.

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