Thursday, January 15, 2009

Grounded.

All I ever wanted
was not to be considered
mediocre
and in doing so
my ambition averaged out
to be like every one else.

So now I just want
to learn humility
and to be okay
with being just okay
to understand
that the weapons
I got
ain't any sharper, duller, shinier
than any of the other soldiers
who stand here in the shadows
with me
terrified of unsheathing
for fear of spilling
our own blood.

That's what I tell myself
anyway
at night
when the ghosts
don't
let
go
relentess phantoms
crossroads and demons
that choice
this choice
red eyes
blue voice
cigarette skin
and whisky decisions
I tell myself
how I just want to be okay
I even pull myself out of bed
to come here
and tell
you
but
I don't know

maybe I'm fucking
lying.

Maybe okay
will never
be
enough.

1 comment:

  1. old red eyes is back
    back before the night before

    ReplyDelete