Saturday, May 9, 2009

Dear.

Hi Mum,
did you hear
Jodi's got a new
place, up in The Hills
where you used to
take us
there's a photo
or was
of you kissing me
on the nose
beneath the ferns
beside the river
Sherbrooke Forest
I think it was
and now Jodi's up there
that's pretty good
huh,
not that she's
um
out of the woods
but I think it's a pretty
great start.

Me?
Hell, you know
how alike you and I
are
don't you
in some ways anyway
in those ways
so yes
I have been drinking
again, mum
the summer was a struggle
I almost...
but never mind
because it looks
like
I'm out of the woods
too, well...
almost.

I wrote you a song.

I hope you heard it.

Soon I'll be singing it
in public and I'll think
of you so I have the strength
and courage to sing it
honestly.

I miss you
Mum,
I think a lot still
of you and Simon
and what I was supposed
to do, and how I walked
away and should I have killed him
or should I have called the police in
and how I wasn't in the
hospital, but most of the time
I think about how I don't think
of it much, and I wonder
whether I'm a sociopath, or a normal
person with a normal life, or I wonder
why I still think about it -
but then again, I tend to think of
lots of things, ALL THE TIME,
so you know.

I'll call your mum today
if I can.

I love you.

matty.

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