You say goodbye, and I say Hello.

Soundtrack: Wilco / California Stars

The good thing about having spent so long in Hell is that it's proof that there's a Heaven. Hell is a nightmare of sweat and tortured dreams. Hell isn't being wounded, Hell IS the wound, savage and crusted, enclosing the deep and dreary dark and forlorn falsehoods based on what you've believed, what you've projected and what you needed to learn. Hell does not come after death, HELL IS DEATH, an ending, and how clear it dawns upon me now, this death which leads to rebirth and reawakening and a laughter not from the head or heart, but a laughter that giggles and froths and bubbles until it fountains and springs from the soul itself and all life is laid before you and the past is a death you have died but Boyo Boyo from death you live again and he who has not died has not lived, you who have not felt or lost or fallen, cannot know the joy of reawakening, the cinnamon aftertaste of calamity the ice cold reminder that NOW, right fucking NOW, you are alive and you have made it through. Oh yes, it's an orgasm of laughter, it's the view from the top, it's symphony not song and it's older than all time.

Heaven is waking in the morning and knowing that you're alive when all others are walking dead. Heaven is being lost in this place, staring at strangers and friends alike and caring and not caring all at once. Heaven is an emptiness, a void, a beginning, a canvas, a note, no time, all time, this moment and forever. Heaven is watching the forked tongue and greedy hands of those around you and always saying yes, sure, stab and stake my brothers, my loves, stab and stake because none of this is real, none of your money is real so take it all and naked I will laugh at the biggest joke of all, for there's more truth in a grain of insanity than a desert of greed, and the greatest insanity of all is Love and I am mad for you all. Best of all Heaven is the reality, when you've stopped wanting to be someone and just want to be someone special. And as soon as you know that, everything else follows as reward.

********

Ingredients:

Fresh Air
Moodboards
Acoustic guitars
The Sting
A soul
A heart



Of course, it's only a guideline.