And Jesus fucking wept...

Soundtrack: I don't know, you put something on...

The next time I meet myself we take a walk down by the creek near my house. I bring a book, in case I have nothing to say or I just feel like laying with the mosquitoes in the grass, but as the sun peeks through the willow tree and we sit on the grass, there is no thought of anything but...

Ah me oh my...

Yup.

This sun sure does make a man dizzy.

Giddy even.

Giddy. Delightfully giddy.

And a little bit...naughty.

Yes. Naughty. It's a shame...

...yes, shame.

That I am here with myself.

********

Since I have made a very important decision in my life, shit has seemed a little less...urgent. Intense maybe. This is good thing. A good thing. See, what I did was, I sat outside in my backyard and I took out every piece of me that lay within, good, bad, indifferent, and I...

made a jigsaw out of it.

And when I had finished putting all the pieces together, there was the solution. Not the ANSWER, but the solution. Same same but different. In bold colours bright as the sun reflecting on the water of my favourite beach. And funnily enough, the solution told me that there were no answers. And for the first time EVER, I was kinda cool with that.

So instead of worrying about shit, I watched some porn. 'cause sometimes, I'm just plain BAD.

I think back to the Bee's advice: Just fucking do it, if that's who you are, just fucking DO IT.

So I admit to myself that I'm a naughty pumpkin, and decide to get out of the house and see the world.

Because somedays I feel that if Jesus is weeping, I might as well grab a motherfucking surfboard.