Monday, February 28, 2011

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Thursday, February 24, 2011


And in the end, it was old pal Henry Miller who said it best -

The aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware, joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware.


I am down a rabbit hole with this one - you can probably stop reading this now and be happy.


I've always been a creative writer, never a journalist, never a blogger as such, I've simply used this little art platform as a personal play space. And it's been fun. Sex, drugs, rock n' roll, break ups, new crushes, trips, loves, journeys within - blah blah....

And then all of a sudden, I found Hell. Actual Hell. Right there. In plain view.


When I first caught a glimpse of it, I kept it to myself. I knew if I spoke too soon, I would be readily dismissed. So I kept quiet. But I could not ignore the fact that I had become aware of Hell. I needed to know more, and I needed to sort fact from fiction. Hell had hidden itself in such a web of misinformation and fanaticism, that to even mention it implied an insanity that could range anywhere between "cute", "kooky" and "dude, you're freaking raving please leave me alone now..."

So I read everything. I trawled new age websites, conspiracy websites, rascist websites, fundamental christian websites, government websites, news websites, hippy websites, wikileaks, wikipedia...I read and I read and I read and I trusted my intuition to discern between opinions and facts. All I did at work anyway was play music and look at hot pictures while dreaming of my time in Paris, so I figured my addiction to an as yet unformed idea was a harmless way to spend 8 hours of my day.

So I'm interested now. I mean of course I am. I am a child of the X-Files, I'm a believer in The Universe, I read star signs, I play guitar and I've got a crystal in my pocket for chrissakes...

Anyway I keep reading. I read 9/11 conspiracy theories - and I know what people will say to me if I talk about it, but whatever - I make up my own mind. I don't follow wild right and left wing theories, I simply use my own mind to make my own decision. As I'd suggest anyone who is actually interested should do. Anyways, here's what happens next in my brain, and let me stress it's merely a conversation - if you've read this far, then humour me.


I have a conversation with my brain. It goes a little like this:

Ok, if we're actually going to spend time thinking about this then let's talk.  We've reviewed all this information and we're both of the opinion that this 9/11 thing is a little dodgy right?


Ok, so riddle me this Batman, what's your answer then? George Bush? Aliens? Zionists? The guy on the Grassy Knoll? Who the Hell did all this shit if it wasn't just some guys pissed off and using a pretty genuine form of guerilla warfare to attack an Imperialist State who had done some pretty major damage to their homeland?

Brain, I don't know. But I'm just going to keep reading for a while.

Ok, but every now and again can we think of legs and bums?

Yes, brain. Yes we can.



Anyways - I keep reading. I read all sorts of theories. I'm not so much chasing down things about 9/11, but something behind that, I don't even know what it is I'm doing. Just following threads. Like I said, work sucks. This is more interesting.

I come across quotes, like this one by Woodrow Wilson, the 32nd President of the United States -

Some of the biggest men in the United States, in the field of commerce and manufacture, are afraid of something. They know that there is a power somewhere so organised, so subtle, so watchful, so interlocked, so complete, so pervasive, that they had better not speak above their breath when they speak in condemnation of it.

I think to myself, a guy becomes President, learns some fundamental truths about government. Things that I've always known. That Power is a hungry snake. Power is not elected by the people. Power is to those who have the most money. Even the President is answerable to money. We are ALL answerable to money.

I keep reading.

I find some funny shit. John Carpenter's They Live styles. Like how we're all ruled by a race of Lizards living in underground U.S. Army bases. I giggle. I like it, but it's not what I'm looking for. I keep reading about Woodrow Wilson and I find out about his involvement in recreating the Federal Reserve Bank of America. I find out something weird. That the Federal Reserve is actually just called "Federal". It's like McDonalds buying their "meat" from a company called 100% Beef. It's actually a private institution that is under contract to the US Government to issue bank notes in exchange for bonds. The US Government has some veto powers over this private bank, but in actual fact, the US is so far in debt to it, that it basically controls the whole fucking country. It concentrates the wealth and control of that wealth - of the entire country - into one private institution.

Weird websites point interesting shit out to me like this:

That on the top of the note, it doesn't say United States, it says Federal Reserve.

My brain starts to hurt about now. I find more quotes, I find motherfucking quotes from Abraham Lincoln for fuck's -

The money power preys upon the nation in times of peace and conspires against it in times of adversity. It is more despotic than monarchy, more insolent than the aristocracy, more selfish than the bureaucracy. It denounces, as public enemies, all who question its methods or throw light upon its crimes." 
Abraham Lincoln 16th president of the USA

I find -

We have in this country one of the most corrupt institutions the world has ever known. I refer to the Federal Reserve Board and the Federal Reserve Banks. Some people think the Federal Reserve Banks are U.S. government institutions. They are private credit monopolies; domestic swindlers, rich and predatory money lenders which prey upon the people of the United States for the benefit of themselves and their foreign customers. The Federal Reserve banks are the agents of the foreign central banks. The truth is the Federal Reserve Board has usurped the Government of the United States by the arrogant credit monopoly which operates the Federal Reserve Board.” Congressman Louis T. McFadden, Chairman of the House Banking and Currency Committee, addressed the House on June 10, 1932. 75 Congressional Record 12595-12603

I research American History. I find out that the first time The Ghosts TM tried to set up this banking system it was fought tooth and nail by the 7th President of the United States - Andrew Jackson. He actually defeated it, and on his gravestone today are the words, I Killed The Bank. He spelled out his opposition to a privately owned bank controlling the nation's finances in these few points -

  • It concentrated the nation's financial strength in a single institution.
  • It exposed the government to control by foreign interests.
  • It served mainly to make the rich richer.
  • It exercised too much control over members of Congress.
  • It favored northeastern states over southern and western states.
  • Banks are controlled by a few select families.
  • Banks have a long history of instigating wars between nations, forcing them to borrow funding to pay for them.


Anyway he killed the bank. Well, he put the bank to sleep. Money is patient, however, and eventually it was Woodrow Wilson, 100 years later, who caved to the pressure and introduced it as US Law.

Charles Lindburgh, a US Senator at the time this bill was passed, commented -

This [Federal Reserve Act] establishes the most gigantic trust on earth. When the President Woodrow Wilson signs this bill, the invisible government of the monetary power will be legalized....the worst legislative crime of the ages is perpetrated by this banking and currency bill.

He explained the power of these people thus -

To cause high prices, all the Federal Reserve Board will do will be to lower the rediscount rate..., producing an expansion of credit and a rising stock market; then when ... business men are adjusted to these conditions, it can check ... prosperity in mid career by arbitrarily raising the rate of interest. It can cause the pendulum of a rising and falling market to swing gently back and forth by slight changes in the discount rate, or cause violent fluctuations by a greater rate variation and in either case it will possess inside information as to financial conditions and advance knowledge of the coming change, either up or down. This is the strangest, most dangerous advantage ever placed in the hands of a special privilege class by any Government that ever existed. The system is private, conducted for the sole purpose of obtaining the greatest possible profits from the use of other people's money. They know in advance when to create panics to their advantage, They also know when to stop panic. Inflation and deflation work equally well for them when they control finance.

I mean, shit, all I was doing initially was watching stupid conspiracy movies - okay, and a little porn - but now I'm seeing this fucking THING. And I'm supposed to NOT think about it?

What else am I supposed to think about now?

Yep. I try.

But instead I keep reading...

I think, okay, so there's this huge financial institution, that's privately owned.

So who the fuck owns it?

I read and I read and I read....

About now I hit a lot of rascist shite. And it's really difficult to sort the facts. One common theme however, is the story of a particular family who have been controlling International Finance Institutions for about 400 years. It's the Rothschild family. And this is where I find difficulties. As they're a Jewish family, I find myself wading through all this Anti-Jewish and totally hatey crap all over the internet. I don't want my information to come from these sources. But I'm persistent. And eventually, on a website devoted to Gold Prices and Trading Information, I find an unbiased history of the House of Rothschild -

You can read it by clicking on this sentence.

It's fucking crazy. It's interesting. It's retarded. I sound crazy.

They have financed wars. It's fact, They finance BOTH sides of the wars. Exactly as Andrew Jackson stated 200 years ago -

Banks have a long history of instigating wars between nations, forcing them to borrow funding to pay for them.

I find out that the Federal Reserve bank is actually owned by these different corporations -

- Rothschild Bank of London
- Rothschild Bank of Berlin
- Lazard Brothers of Paris
- Israel Moses Seif Banks of Italy
- Warburg Bank of Amsterdam
- Warburg Bank of Hamburg
- Lehman Brothers of New York
- Kuhn Loeb Bank of New York
- Goldman, Schs of New York
- Chase Manhattan Bank of New York

I read that the parent companies of all these companies directly relate back to Rothschild companies.
I read about their involvement in the creation of Israel.
I read so many god damn things that I want to cry.

I go take a dump. I drink a beer. I play some gigs. I tell myself to follow the light, to just Love in each and every day, and that is all that matters. I tell myself how crazy I will sound if I actually blog about this.

But my Soul, my Soul screams Bloody Murder. And my brain wants more. I'm thirsty for something I've always chased but never understood.

I'm thirsty for Truth.

I see an incredible Truth here. And I feel obliged to be called crazy in the hope that one other person might see the same thing. That we might talk about it.

I remember my time in Seattle, talking to one of the loveliest people I've ever met, Todd. Todd said to me, man, I don't know why our government does the things it does. We're all just people like everyone else, just struggling, just fighting to survive, to live, love and die happy. He says, I don't think we're even governed anymore. This whole place is gone to shit, controlled by a fucking machine no one ever sees.

I see the thoughtful forces of the world blaming the Governments for all these unnecessary wars, for all this hate and destruction, and then I see the true face of it all. What we all know in our hearts. "The Military Industrial Complex" it's been called...Whatever the fuck it's called - it's fucking Evil, that's for sure.

And I mean, I know this. We all KNOW it. But we all fucking hide from it, because Jesus knows, it's MONSTROUS in its complexity and it's depressing as all fuck.

But oh god, The Truth...It hurts.

I know what this means to my once happy kooky creative blog.

It's just my little brain

 I didn't know what else to do but write.

Stupid god damn red pill.

I'm going to have a beer.

Sorry if I chased you all away.


Wednesday, February 23, 2011

If there are lights on the horizon that attract you, start walking toward them.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

There is a river flowing now very fast.
It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid.
They will try to hold onto the shore.
They will feel they are being torn apart and they will suffer greatly.
Know the river has its destination.
Let go of the shore, and push off and into the river,
Keep our eyes open, and our head above the water.
See who is in there with you and Celebrate.

At this time in history, we are to take nothing personally.
Least of all ourselves.
Banish the word struggle from your attitude and your vocabulary.
All that you do now must be done in a sacred manner
And in celebration.

We are the one's we've been waiting for.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

The Woods.

There's been a recurring theme in my life of late. Things are simplified, then paths begin to present themselves, veins of tomorrow, viscous with possible plasmas, threading sideways, borne of a root idea, but reaching to find a feeding ground of their own. And once the trunk can no longer bear the weight of so much possibility, I enter an Autumn of Inspiration, and let things die, that they may sprout again stronger.

I am no longer surprised by the coming of Spring. I have become a constant gardener, and as each new idea blossoms, I am slowly, patiently, learning to tend to it the attention it deserves. Last year, all I wanted was to build upon the roots I had planted by sheer chance, and it came to be. These days a new harvest approaches. One that requires a more deliberate approach. Careful planning. The right equipment. A studied calculation of the essence of all life.


Outside I enjoy the empty sky, the wind whisper in my mind - far riskier never to risk.

And the mind, busying itself with such ponderings, begins to build Woods which strengthen with age, become deeper, more magical, a place of creation and safety.

In which to risk it all.


Always dream and shoot higher than you know you can do. Do not bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.

Monday, February 7, 2011


Cities at night, I feel, contain men who cry in their sleep and then say Nothing. It’s nothing. Just sad dreams. Or something like that… Swing low in your weep ship, with your tear scans and your sob probes, and you would mark them. Women—-and they can be wives, lovers, gaunt muses, fat nurses, obsessions, devourers, exes, nemeses—-will wake and turn to these men and ask, with female need-to-know, “What is it?” And the men say, “Nothing. No it isn’t anything really. Just sad dreams.”

Sunday, February 6, 2011

I'm joined by Loneliness
who gives me
the usual -
pot shots
of savage self
I just can't
seem to swallow it
these days

so I
read my book
listen to Tweedy
lay for a time on my bed just gazing at the ceiling
drink whisky with my friend
play my guitar
my cat climbs all over me
and I just


I s'pose.

I just believe.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011


Kept secrets
form clusters
which are easier to trip over
when you're in
the dark.


I need to find a Single Light again.
Multi-tasking is proving impossible to navigate.

And I am proving Less than Able.